how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
