i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
