We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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