yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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