Will you blow on my dice?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
