sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
