my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize
