ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
