so explain again why im purple
no
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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