My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
