Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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