Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
