I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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