Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
