he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He better not be in your backpack
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
