i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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