I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
