Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
