Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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