Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I am naked and annoyed.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
