And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
