when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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