I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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