capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
