I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
