he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
