chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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