talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize