fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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