he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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