It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
