I'm really into asian looking animals
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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