Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
