btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
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