I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize