You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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