If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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