my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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