So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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