he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
tell me about the eggs
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