why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
