operation harelip BJ is a go
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
