i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Randomize
