ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Randomize
