Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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