Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Farmville is her only friend.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
