Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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