We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
