Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
