Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
