I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Randomize
