i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
