Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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