Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
