Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize