Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
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