Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
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