soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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