Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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