I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
