How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
someone owes me an orgasm
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
