Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I could fuck to npr.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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