I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
