would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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