I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
