apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
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