we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
